Micro-Dosing Connections: Cultivating Belonging in a Busy World

When we think about health and healthy behaviors, we often focus on diet, exercise, sleep, and perhaps stress management. These are undoubtedly important components of a healthy lifestyle. However, I think there is a vital element that often gets overlooked: the power of social connections and our sense of belonging to a community. 

Our social ties have a remarkable influence on our physical and mental health. When we have strong social connections, our immune systems are often stronger, making us less susceptible to illnesses. On the other hand, loneliness and social isolation can increase inflammation and weaken our immune response, leaving us more vulnerable to disease. We know from research that individuals with robust social networks tend to live longer. It is one of the commonalities of the famed Blue Zone regions. 

Being part of a community or social group—whether it’s a family unit, a circle of friends, or a local club—instills a feeling of being valued and understood. This sense of belonging is crucial for our self-esteem and overall mental health. When we feel connected to others, we are more likely to perceive our lives as meaningful and purposeful, which significantly reduces the risk of mental health issues.

But what if for one reason or other, you find yourself deprived of connections? Maybe you are new in your city, going through a divorce or break-up that disrupted your social life, or under work pressure that makes it difficult to find time to engage with your friends the way you normally would.

At the time of writing this, I am working on building a new business while simultaneously pursuing a series of very challenging qualifications, which is severely curtailing the amount of time I have to spend with friends. And I am a very social person.  So I have come up with something I call micro-dosing social connections.

What I mean by that is that I make an effort to enhance the quality of the interactions I do have. And that starts by noticing who you interact with. Even when crazy busy, I still step out of the house multiple times per day to grab a coffee, get something from the shop, or go to the gym or yoga class. We often don’t acknowledge the people who serve us. But we see them more often than even some of our closest friends. Something as mundane as getting coffee can become a lot more meaningful by simply just seeing the human in from of you. Taking an interest in their life. Watching someone’s face light up when you ask them how their child’s first day of school went, can profoundly change your day. It’s something that I have always done, and it has contributed a great deal to my sense of belonging here in East London which is my current chosen home. It also has another unintentional side effect: I rarely pay full price for coffee and rarely do my friends have to pay for a guest pass when I bring them to my gym. 

That brings me to the next point: Involving friends in health rituals I make sure I sustain even during impossibly busy times, like going to the sauna at least a few times per week. Even a brief 20-minute conversation can help deepen bounds as long as you are truly present and engaged. I go to the same yoga classes every week and I know the teachers and the other regulars and I have built relationships with them. Again the interactions might be brief, but they are usually of quality. Something as simple as a smile acknowledging recognition can instill a sense of belonging. Sure, starting conversations with strangers can be daunting for many of us but having an open, approachable presence can circumvent that by leaving us open to be approached by others with ease. 

Running is an essential part of my life, so I try and arrange joint runs with friends whenever possible. It is a great way to not only catch up but also to make sure I stay in the famed zone 2 where I can converse comfortably and avoid my tendency to go too fast too often. That means not only do I get my dose of connection but I also avoid overtraining and injury. 

Speaking of running: I also belong to a running club. Probably the nicest running club in London, not that I am biased. Come hell or high water, Thursday nights are sacred. As it involves something I do anyway for my mental and physical health, it is a lot easier to make time for compared to let’s say meeting friends at a pub every Thursday. Although we do finish at a brewery. And even though I don’t drink during the week, I still stay and always end up deep in conversations that leave me heading home so fully recharged and filled to the brim with warmth and belonging that I usually end up having the best night’s sleep. Which just sets me up for a great next day and I finish the week on a high. Even if I currently have to spend most of my weekend buried in textbooks. 

Whenever possible, I engage in my social life more fully. But during times of severe time constraints, this intentional micro-dosing of social interactions, prioritizing quality over quantity, helps me foster a sense of belonging and connection. This, in turn, strengthens my mental, physical, and emotional resilience, especially during high-stress times when it is needed most and hardest to attain. And I get to positively contribute to the experience of others, impacting not only mine but the larger environment I live in. Because connection is always a two-way street.